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Republicans Concede Change; Grudgingly Elect First Black Chairman

Meet Michael Steele, New Boss Of Republicans

In case anyone actually cares, the Republicans have decided to drop the whole Klansman act and instead grudgingly join the rest of the 21st century in all its beautiful non-segregated glory.

It only took the maximum six ballots for former Maryland Lt. Gov. Michael Steele to become the first ever […]

PETA’s Failed Foray Into Sex Industry

Why PETA’s New Commercial Makes Me Want To Shove Double-Bacon Cheeseburgers In My Mouth And Stomp Freshly Planted Flowers

It is official. The animal-crusaders over at PETA will not stop until they are the uncontested winners of the world’s most irritating organization prize. It is the only explanation for the new veggie porn they tried to […]

Game Over For Illinois’ Favorite Lego-Haired Crime Boss

In what was no doubt a stunning conclusion to the two-month trainwreck known as Rod Blagojevich’s political career, the Illinois Senate unanimously voted 59-0 to immediately turn the esteemed Gov. into just another Mr. with a bad mouth and even worse hair style.

The conviction gives Mr. Blagojevich the wonderful distinction of being the first U.S. […]

Blago Freak-Show Express To Derail At Senate Trial After All!

In case you haven’t gotten enough of insane governor Rod Blagojevich’s awkward road tour across America, fear not, because the freak-show express has come back home.

Yes, Illinois’ own hero governor returns to bravely face lawmakers on the last of his three-day impeachment trial to deliver his closing remarks in a stunning senate showdown.

A surprising departure […]

Master Of The House

It’s On!
President Barack Obama faced down scary House Republicans on Tuesday only to find the hard chargin’, tough talkin’ swingers of the right softer than a bunch Pillsbury dough boys.

The night before a key vote on a key economic stimulus bill, Obama met privately with GOP House leaders on Tuesday where he coaxed them […]

Hard Knock Life: Obama Grounds Citigroup’s High-Flying Hopes

Here’s To A Job Well Done!

Having secured a sweet $45 billion bailout from taxpayers, the savvy wizards over at Citigroup did what any rational company narrowly escaping bankruptcy would do: Buy a luxurious, new $50 million corporate jet using funds just fleeced from the public, of course!

Citigroup execs defended the move as a smart business […]

Don’t Worry Planet, Mr. Adorable To The Rescue!

The President At His Finest

After a very long day of flubbed inauguration oaths, never-ending parades, and boring balls where he and Michelle were forced to perform endless slow dances for the adoring crowds, Barack Obama finally got to take a load off.

Yes, even when undoing his tie, exhausted and drained, America’s new president still manages […]

Screw The Senate, Blago’s Takin’ His Case To The People!

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Insane cartoon character Rod Blagojevich is hitting the media circuit in a desperate, last […]

You Wouldn’t Like Him When He’s Angry…

Okay, so we now know ever-smooth President Barack Obama does have human emotions. Push him hard enough and you may just find yourself on the back end of one of these bad boys: Barack Obama’s signature STFU (Shut The F**k Up!) Face.

It’s the closest Mr. Cool ever gets to losing it. And with loose-lipped Joe […]

The Audacity Of Dope

“Got Dope?”

You’ve heard of Barack Obama t-shirts, bumper stickers, buttons, mugs, bags, magnets and countless other items featuring El Presidente’s likeness.

Well now you can add heroin to the illustrious, ever-growing list of Obama-branded merchandise. Capitalism rules!

The Smoking Gun reports that cops in upstate New York arrested five suspects for their roles in a drug ring […]